Dad and Mom did EVERYTHING together.
“Irv, we have a cocktail party Friday night.”
“Mkay” he’d say.
“Irv, we’re going to a couples’ shower at the Peterson’s pool.”
Mom, “Millers want to meet us in Chicago next month.”
Dad, “I’ll reschedule something. Tell them we’ll be there!”
So it went for sixty-plus years. My world didn’t unfold so handily. There’s been begging, arguing, whining, pouting. Then, some mother-in-law wisdom dawned on me. Prior to our marriage, she said, “If you wait for your husband to do everything with you, you’ll miss a lot.”
Flashback 1975-Illinois State-Jethro Tull; a must see! Except “somebody” didn’t want to go. Imagine the pure joy I felt for my boyfriend, now husband, when a buddy gave him an extra ticket. (May I say, I seethed over this for 27 years, until I saw Tull in St. Louis? That’s stupid.
So, how does a woman start living/stop missing? Just yesterday, I decided to visit Hermann, MO for the day. I’m a bit impulsive; that may not work for you. I get that. After asking three friends and three declines, however, do you go or no? At 9:00a.m., I headed towards Hermann. Would Hermann have been more fun with friends? Perhaps. Nonetheless, it was a world class day; no discussions as to, “Do you want to do this, do that, go here, go there, eat here or there?”
When weighing decisions, I tend to acquiesce – which is why I don’t shop well with others, either. As a result, my day becomes their ideas, not mine. Occassionally, it’s empowering to be in charge of the schedule.
Rolling solo boosts my self-confidence. It’s about being comfortable in your own company, with phone off and stowed away. It’s the satisfaction of seeing something, going somewhere or doing something, which otherwise, you’d have missed. While safety reigns supreme, I won’t lie, rolling solo requires stretching your personal fear factor.But it’s definitely worth the effort.
Below are a few items from my “RSOMs” (Rolled Solo or Missed) list:
1) Flew to Venezuela to join a sports coaches group for the Central American Games.
2) Dined at Chicago’s, 96th Floor Signature Room. One word: VIEW!
3) Flew to Paris to see my daughter.
4) Saw two shows, in Vegas: “Mamma Mia” and “Menapause, the Musical.
5) Ditto, Chicago, for “Vagina Monologues”, “Moving On”, and “Rent” in Des Moines.
6) Locally, I’ve attended live theater, ballet, movies, weddings and funeral visitations alone. In fact,
there isn’t much I won’t attend alone, if need be. And I’m happier as a result. Oddly enough, the one thing in Quincy I haven’t done is dined solo. I know practically everybody in town and people tend to feel sorry for soloists, or think we’re weird. So, if you ever see me dining solo, think I’m weird, but please don’t sympathize. I probably just wanted a nice meal.
Now, go conquer a fear and a desire. Do something scary. Roll solo, occasionally. You’ll want to high-five yourself. bw