Starting right now, I am giving myself thirty minutes to complete this article. It will be a struggle, but there is one thing left on my to-do list today. You see, I’m on vacation this week, or rather, staycation. When my daughter, Korey, asked me what I was going to do today, I replied, “I’m going to try to stay home.” So far, I have, not that my list isn’t growing for errands after today, but we’ll address that in time.
It’s just me and the pooch, Lily. She seems to like the non-rushing-around version of Bobbe and doesn’t seem as agitated (i.e. incessant barking). I’m not barking at others as much either. Ha.

In an effort not to bore you with the list of chores accomplished today, there was one, of which I was particularly proud. Yesterday, at Comcast, two people ahead of me in line complained to the clerk, that their children were home for Thanksgiving, complaining about the slow Internet service. I started laughing, because that is why I was there, too! Perhaps it has been dreadfully slow all along, but we just got used to it. The clerk was impressed, in a comical way, as our modem was eleven (11!) years old. She said that the White house might hold the record for oldest modem in Adams County. No wonder we were running at a turtle’s pace. “Have you run a speed test?” she asked. “Uhhhhhh, not since fifth grade P.E.” She rolled her eyes. “Oh forget it, just go get a new one for $80-90 dollars.”

BestBuy’s Rob sold me a super duper high speed modem. It was $10.00 off, compared to the slower one, so what the heck, right? Then I purchased the two-year warranty for $10.00, and voila! A brand new shiny modem, sitting in its innocent box, awaiting a connection attempt by yours truly. Innocent, my tush. I was afraid to let the demon out of the box, seeing as I’m technically challenged, so I rang up Comcast on the phone, just in case of need, while plugging the wires into the new thingy. For once, I paid close attention to which plug came out of which outlet, although, if I must say so myself, it was pretty obvious. After a few clicks here and there, activation was completed. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but, I DID IT! Yes, I did. All by myself. TOOT! TOOT! And I did it without the aid of an 800 number, or a Geek from BestBuy, who’ll be here between 4:00am and 12:30p.m, next Thursday. TOOT! TOOT!

For now, my work here is done. I’m going to sit down for three hours and read a book. Just because I can and just because that’s the last thing on my to-do list today. Isn’t that ridiculous that it’s even necessary to write it as a to-do item?  But -and this is a BIG but- I’m learning how to stay home. And also because Mark Twain once said, “The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.” Read. Check!  bw