March 28, 2015

To recap, I traveled over Christmas and lost my pants in Poland. Packing in carry-on for two weeks, means losing a pair of pants from a limited wardrobe is dismal. They weren’t expensive (TJ Maxx Clearance Rack) but they were functional. Besides, I liked the pants; they were gray, my go-to travel color.  Having swiped hotel shampoo, notepads and pens (dog chews them; endless supply is needed), I had the hotel contact info, so emailed the Warsaw concierge. Mikal emailed me back, “Yes, Mr. White, your pants and top were confiscated from Room 337. Where should I ship your pants?” Sidebar: “Ship my pants” is my favorite K-Mart ad.  K-Mart shipped everything! They shipped their beds, shipped their nighties, and shipped their drawers. Well, I about shipped my drawers, when Mikal said he’d ship mine for 210 Zlotzys. That’s only $70 USD. However, for a $15 pair of clearance pants, they can ship my pants to the Polish National Army, for all I care. Mikal, countered with 60 Zlotzy’s ($20USD) for regular, take a month-and-a-half delivery. Sold! Mikal, also called me. I about shipped by yoga pants when I saw the lonnnnnng phone number: +48 22 55 11 000 53 47 68 23 278 791 685 401. Are there so many phone numbers in Poland, the numbers are as long as Pi (3.145935….)? Phone numbers weren’t as long as their addresses, however. Hotel Bristol was located at: KRAKOWSKIE PRZEDMIESCIE 42/44 00-325, WARSZAWA, POLAND. Yikes. However would a lost tourist tell a cop where the hotel was located?  Mikal was requesting to use the credit card on file so he could ship my pants. I’d have agreed, but there’s a story here. On the recent credit card statement, one charge looked suspicious: 1/3/15 –  $26  at “The Golden Swing,” Phoenix, AZ. Sounds like an adult playground, right? I know what you’re thinking, “Bobbe sure does get around! Is she paying for that trip by moonlighting in a strip club?” Maybe it’s a strip club for senior bus trips loaded with golden years members. That credit card was cancelled quicker than you can say KRAKOWSKIE PRZEDMIESCIE. I should’ve Googled it first, but panic trumps Google every time. Apparently, the Golden Swing is a shuttle service, which transported us from JFK airport in New York, to LaGuardia. Inconvenient, yes, but we got a great air fare to Europe. Well, it wasn’t that great, considering the stress trying to meet flight schedules,but, for Big Apple ground transport, $13/passenger isn’t bad.

My pants arrived from Poland March 25th!  This story resembles the book, “Letters from Felix,” where a toy bunny gets lost in the airport abyss and circles the world before coming home.  Felix was no happier than my gray pants that day.  Welcome back pants, you’ve traveled more than I did.

Cost to ship my pants: $20. Cost of pants on TJ Maxx clearance: $15. Pant’s travel visa: Made in China, shipped to US, packed for London, Krakow, Warsaw and shipped back to Quincy IL: priceless!